A friend called me from Airport, asking if there was any way I could help with regard to the stamping of the USA visa to the new passport since the old one was cancelled. I couldn’t help. Disappointed, the family deferred their journey and returned home. Later in the afternoon, she apologised for not greeting me properly as they were under stress. I was not offended since I knew the situation. Greetings were not expected from her at that time. Understandable.
What happens to you when you are under any stress? How do you behave with everyone around you? Do you snap them? Or yell at them? Or create an atmosphere of tension around you? Are people able to offer you advice in this situation? Are you willing to listen to anyone at that moment? The answer to all these questions will be revealing your body language and behaviour when you are in a strained situation. Think again, is it appropriate? How would it paint you in the eyes of those who do not know about your calmer and more peaceful side of behaviour? Is that how you would like them to keep your image in their mind? Such situations are tricky. We forget all the lessons of mannerisms. With forehead wrinkled, eyes widened, breath fastened, and heartbeat increased, we become an individual difficult to deal with. Our logical brain doesn’t work. Nothing wise enters our minds. This creates stress and tension in the atmosphere. We exhume negative energy. It makes others uncomfortable around us. People avoid talking to us in such situations. We all might have gone through such incidents in life and reflected the worse side of our personalities.
How you deal with such stressful situations is an art, not easy to acquire. Meditation and a deep understanding of the world – spirituality is certainly the final source of such wisdom. But for those who do not incline to go that deep, easy steps might be: Don’t say anything. Just keep your mouth shut for the time being. If you have to talk to someone, prefer writing a message. Type a message but don’t send it. Read it again for its politeness of language. Add usual greetings at the beginning and end – since under pressure you must have forgotten to use them. Nothing changes in one minute. Take this one minute to compose yourself and then decide whether you would like to send that message or speak on phone – in the same language you have finalised for your message. If it is a request for help, be extra polite. If it is a complaint, emphasise your grievance but make sure you do not raise your voice. As soon as you raise your voice, everything goes out of your control. Once lost, difficult to gain your calm back during the conversation. It will offend other people and would avail no benefit to you. This delayed communication and pre-decided language will help you tackle the situation in a better way.